Noughmad.org

I was away for a month now, and it was for a good cause: I attended two olympiads. The first was the International Physics Olympiad (IPhO) in Vietnam and the second was the International Olympiad in Linguistics (IOL) in Bulgaria. Our team got one silver and three bronze medals, including mine, at the IPhO. We didn’t get any medals in Bulgaria, but I won a special prize for the best solution of one problem.

Pascal programmers:

Well, what type of milk is it?

C Programmers:

No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.

Assembly programmers:

No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.

Basic programmers:

No thanks; I’m still breast feeding.

MIS:

I’ll drink it if you can give me until next year.

Fuzzy logic guys:

I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.

Prolog programmers:

I know I drank it - just don’t ask me how.

Non-procedural language programmers:

I drank it when nobody was looking.

UI designers:

What’s that crap in my glass?

Pentium users:

I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don’t hold me to that.

Windows users:

Where’s my straw?

Mac users:

Where’s my pump?

UNIX users:

Nahh . . . too easy.

Multimedia author:

[slurp!]

Shareware game author:

That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.

Security consultant:

Where’d the rest of the milk go?

CIA:

What makes you think that’s milk?

NSA:

We know what it really is.

Copy protection crazies:

Somebody drank half my milk and didn’t pay for it!

Free Software Foundation:

That milk is the cow’s contribution to all mankind!

Schroedinger:

That damned cat got into the milk again!

Bill Gates:

Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.

Apple Computer:

You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.

IBM:

Rent the glass from us and we’ll fill it with something we know is good for you.

IRS:

Thanks for getting your milk withholding correct this year.

National news media:

Hey, we wanted OJ!

Warning: Long post is long.

Continue reading ‘Things you do NOT want your System Administrator to say’ »

Not really, but I did get a Facebook profile. Close enough.

1. Gather some friends (3-4 should be optimal, but this is optional).
2. Download and burn an Edubuntu LiveCD.
3. If the school computer is very old, also make a bootfloppy (not the Windows one, but one calleed SmartBoot or something). The LiveCD has instructions for that, don’t worry.
4. Put the Edubuntu LiveCD into the tray and reboot the computer. You don’t have to be logged in to do that.
5. Get the computer to boot from CD. You might have problem with that, but they can be resolved by entering BIOS (pressing DEL or F2), changing boot preferences (usually F8) or using the bootfloppy.
6. Get into the desktop, and run Applications => Games => TuxMath.
7. Play it, and compete with your friends.
8. Laugh.
9. If someone says this game is stupid, challenge him/her.
10. Enjoy the respect you and Linux just got.

I just started using the Dvorak keyboard layout. I’m still in the process of learning where the keys are, but I’m having some progress. I’m also surprised how many words can be written with only ten letters (AOEUIDHTNS on the home row).

Nevertheless, my keyboard looks very confused now, with dot and comma in the top-left corner, letters in a strange order and key heights inappropriate for their positions.

I would write more but it’s still hard…

Here are the six differences and similarities between Linux and sex, as discovered by linuxhelp.blogspot.com.

1. Sex is like candy. The more you have it, the more you like it. Linux is also like candy. The more you use it, the more you fall in love with it.
2. The first time you have sex, your spouse complains because you are persistent. Same way, when you start using Linux, your spouse again complains because now you are negligent (to her).
3. It is prudent to practice safe sex the same way as it is safer to use a robust firewall in Linux.
4. Sex is pervasively practiced the world over. Linux is slowly getting there bit by bit.
5. It is alright to have sex any number of times as long as it is with your life partner. Similarly, you can install Linux any number of times as long as it is on your machine and not your colleague’s.
6. Using sex and Linux together in a sentence is nice because they (kind of) rhyme.

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on …

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don’t need to know, don’t want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the Seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, “You had to do what with the seat?”

A couple of days ago, the KDE project released the first beta of KDE 4.1. This version is suppose to bring stability as well completeness to KDE 4.0. I downloaded it soon after Kubuntu had packages for it, and it leaves me with mixed (but mostly good) emotions.

Although this is a beta, the desktop itself is very stable. I had problems logging out before, and they’re gone now. I wish the same could be set for the new apps, which keep crashing on me on certain tasks.

One great feature KDE4.1 brings are the Personal Information Manager application, which have finally been ported to KDE4. Kontact, KMail and Akregator, along with all their plugins are functional. However, these programs don’t seem to be thoroughly tested, as they often crash when changing certain settings.